Here are some quotes that I found from Samuel Clemens. I hope that you enjoy reading them.
Fiddlinsue

ADAM AND EVE
Adam and Eve had many advantages,
but the principal one was that they
escaped teething.
Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain)
Pudd'nhead Wilson

ANGER
When angry, count four; when very
angry, swear.
Samuel Clemens
Pudd'nhead Wilson

BUSINESS
There are  two times in a man's life
when he should not speculate: when
he can't afford it, and when he can.
Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain)

CHILDHOOD
There's plenty of boys that will come
hankering and gruvvelling around when
you've got an apple, and beg the core
off you; but when they've got one, and
you beg for the core, and remind them
how you give them a core one time, they
make a mouth at you, and say thank you
'most to death, but there ain't a-going to
be no core.
Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain)
Tom Sawyer Abroad

CITY
This poor little one-horse town.
S. L. Clemens (Mark Twain)
The Undertaker's Story

EDUCATION
Training is everything. The peach was
once a bitter almond; cauliflower is
nothing but cabbage with a college
education.
Samuel L. Clemens (Mark Twain)

ELOQUENCE
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who
has merely laid an egg cackles as if she
laid an asteroid.
Samuel L. Clemens (Mark Twain)

EPITAPH
Warm summer sun shine kindly here;
Warm southern wind blow softly here;
Green sod above lie light, lie light--
Good night, dear heart, good night,
good night.
On the tombstone of Susy Clemens
by Mark Twain.

FOOL
Hain't we got all the fools in town on
our side? And ain't that a big enough
majority in any town?
S. L. Clemens (Mark Twain)
Huckleberry Finn

JOURNALISM
Get your facts first, and then you can
distort 'em as much as you please.
S. L. Clemens (Mark Twain)

LYING
An experienced, industrious, ambitious,
and often quite picturesque liar.
S. L. Clemens (Mark Twain)

MAN
There are times when one would like
to hang the whole human race; and
finish the farce.
S. L. Clemens (Mark Twain)
A Connecticut Yankee at King
Arthur's Court

MODESTY
Modesty antedates clothes and will
be resumed when clothes are no more.
Modesty died when clothes were born.
Modesty died when false modesty was
born.
Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain)

NONSENSE
Conductor, when you receive a fare,
punch in the presence of the passenjare.
A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare,
A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare,
A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare,
Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
Chorus
Punch, brothers! punch with care!
Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
S. L. Clemens (Mark Twain)

OPINIONS
It were not best that we should all
think alike; it is difference of opinion
that makes horseraces.
S. L. Clemens (Mark Twain)
Pudd'nhead Wilson

POTTERY
For a male person bric-a-brac hunting
is about as robust a business as making
doll clothes.
S. L. Clemens (Mark Twain)
Tramp Abroad

POVERTY
He is now fast rising from affluence
to poverty.
S. L. Clemens (Mark Twain)

SUCCESS
All you need in this life is ignorance
and confidence, and then success is sure.
S. L. Clemens (Mark Twain), 1887.

TRUTH
Tell the truth or trump--but get the trick.
S. L. Clemens (Mark Twain)
Pudd'nhead Wilson